Dumped!

New Scientist vol 181 issue 2434 - 14 February 2004, page 40


Why is it so painful when romance goes wrong? Blame the wiring of your brain and the harsh realities of evolution, says anthropologist Helen Fisher


EMPTINESS, hopelessness, fear, fury: almost everyone endures the agony of romantic rejection at some point in their lives. Why do we suffer so? Sorrow and anger are metabolically expensive and time consuming. Why didn't humanity evolve a way to shrug off romantic loss and easily renew the quest to find a suitable reproductive partner?

I have been studying romantic love for 10 years or so and have come to see it as an evolutionary adaptation. The ability to fall in love evolved because those who focused their courtship attention on a preferred partner saved time and energy and improved their chances of survival and reproduction.

Unfortunately, the same applies to love's darker side. We humans are soft-wired to suffer terribly when we are rejected by someone we adore - for good evolutionary reasons.